


seven old losers on twitter

by formosus_iniquis



Series: seven losers on twitter [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Multi, Post-Canon, Social Media, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 05:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20961374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formosus_iniquis/pseuds/formosus_iniquis
Summary: Thottie with a (dead) body @mykielynncan someone explain why bill denbrough and fucking richie tozier are mutuals now?This fic is fully inspired byRetweetbyplinyswhich you should go check out





	seven old losers on twitter

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is fully inspired by [Retweet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872880) by [plinys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys). It's also mostly just the least angsty way I could squeeze all my losers headcanons into one place, or most of them anyway (wasn't sure how to casually drop my stan/mike/patricia feels into a twitter fic but maybe next time)
> 
> also i can't remember what job stan had in the book but i know it wasn't nature photographer just like i know patricia's wasn't mystery novelist, but if the movie can change eddie's job to something better then i can do the same

Thottie with a (dead) body _ @mykielynn  
_can someone explain why bill denbrough and fucking richie tozier are mutuals now?

Hardback Horror _ @hardback_hoarder_  
_Replying to @mykielynn_  
Heard a rumor he’s going to be in the Hysteria movie

Gothicc 👻 _ @ghostie_girl_  
_Replying to @mykielynn and @hardback_hoarder_  
Couldn’t they get literally anyone else to play Steve?

Hardback Horror _ @hardback_hoarder_  
_Replying to @mykielynn and @ghostie_girl_  
It’s just a rumor I saw going around book twitter

Thottie with a (dead) body _ @mykielynn_  
_Replying to @hardback_hoarder and @ghostie_girl_  
He wasn’t bad when he hosted for snl he could be alright

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier  
_Tickets for my tour Richie Tozier: Adventures in Trauma Therapy are now on sale bit.ly/Trauma_Therapy_Tour

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier  
_oh shit my account got hacked that last tweet was almost fucking professional

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
my manager has told me that i’m “not funny” and “need to promote my comeback tour”

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
You aren’t funny…

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
don’t worry this professionalism is a freak occurrence i am, as the kids say, 100% still on my bullshit

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
The kids don’t say that

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @BillDenbrough_  
i forgot how hip to the youths horror author bill denbrough was. remind me how the sins of our fathers ended?

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
You’re a freak occurrence

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @E_Kaspbrak_  
oof eds twitter is not the place i wanted to see you come for me

Bev Marsh ✔ _ @Beverly_Marsh_  
_ Replying to @RichieTozier and @E_Kaspbrak_  
Leave @E_Kaspbrak alone, none of us want to testify when he murders you

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @Beverly_Marsh and @RichieTozier_  
I’m not going to have this as Exhibit A in my trial

Ꝅatie Ꝅat _ @thekathryn  
_Bev M*arsh divorces her husband takes the business and is now tweeting R*ch*e T*zier and B*ll Denbr*ugh on the daily… wtf

Ɱillicent _ @millyvanilly_  
_Replying to @thekathryn_  
i know right what fucking timeline are we in

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak  
_ The man writes one comedy special and now has “stans.” Hey _ @RichieTozier _get your teenage army out of my mentions

Stan Uris _ @Stanley_Uris_  
_Replying to @E_Kaspbrak_  
I think I’ve got to change my name if that’s what it means now

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @Stanley_Uris and @E_Kaspbrak_  
stan the man you know you were my first biggest fan

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier and @Stanley_Uris_  
Careful what you say Stan, those fans can be vicious if they feel like you’re attacking their precious Trashmouth

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier _ @RichieTozier_  
_ Replying to @E_Kaspbrak and @Stanley_Uris_  
don’t listen to him _@E_Kaspbrak_ is just mad he’s been cancelled three times this week

NYT Fashion _ @NYTFashion  
_ Designer and Fashion Mogul _ @Beverly_Marsh _ announces her engagement to Pritzker winning architect _ @Ben_Hanscom _

Simon & Schuster ✔ @SimonBooks  
Coming in 2020 a horrifying mystery from _ @BillDenbrough _ and _ @PatriciaBlum _that will keep you at the edge of your seat.

Preorder What Doesn’t Kill you now bit.ly/2Gn6ldK

Shane Madej ✔ _ @shanemadej  
_ Tune in to this week’s episode of Unsolved, we’ve got _ @BillDenbrough _ in to talk about the mysterious disappearances in Derry, Maine 

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_ Replying to @shanemadej and @BillDenbrough_  
tune in this week to my twitter feed to see @BillDenbrough being dead to me

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
Is it that serious?

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @BillDenbrough and @RichieTozier_  
Bill what have you done

Richie Trashmouth Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @BillDenbrough_  
i have fifteen minutes on snapped, how could you do this to me big bill

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
We all thought that was a cry for help. Stan suggested getting a cleaning service so it didn’t happen to you

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak _  
_Replying to @BillDenbrough and @RichieTozier_  
You’re dead to me now too

Rock’n’Roll Buckaroo _ @pixiepants_  
_Replying to @BillDenbrough and @RichieTozier_  
What fucking timeline are we in

TMZ ✔ _ @TMZ  
_Comedian Richie Tozier spotted at La Bella opening with mystery friend

Mary Contrary _ @mary__sue_  
_Replying to @TMZ_  
Harold…

𝕸**Ⱥ**𝖄**Ⱥ** _@mayamay_  
_Replying to @TMZ_  
[thatsgaymadmax.gif](https://i.makeagif.com/media/5-11-2018/DwEfhB.gif)

Kyra, but tired _ @sugarspicenice_  
_Replying to @TMZ  
_uuh _ @RichieTozier _wanna weigh in here

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier  
_hey _ @TMZ _ , i didn’t come out on fucking _ @LateNightSeth _to be disrespected like this

> TMZ ✔ _@TMZ  
_Comedian Richie Tozier spotted at La Bella opening with mystery friend

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier and @TMZ_  
i would have come out on #conan if i wanted to be disrespected like this

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier and @TMZ_  
is this how #kstew feels all the time? am i being gal-pal’d?

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier and @TMZ_  
this is about to be very out of character for me, but time to get serious. that “mystery friend” is the love of my life and it’s only very recently that i’ve been able to call him my boyfriend

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier and @TMZ_  
so if the paps are going to interrupt our date night and leave my boyfriend (who isn’t even verified, he didn’t sign up for this) paranoid about leaving the house. You could at LEAST do us the decency of not giving us the no homo treatment

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
You left some letters capitalized there babe (love you too)

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
Give ‘em hell Rich; and let me know when you and Eddie are free, Audra wants to double

Bev Marsh ✔ _ @Beverly_Marsh_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
At least they managed to get your good side, they only ever catch me making the ugliest faces

Ben Hanscom ✔ _ @Ben_Hanscom_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
Come out on the boat with us, give the paps something else to talk about

Mike _ @Hanlon_Mike_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
Love you man, hate that you have to keep doing this shit

Stan Uris _ @Stanley_Uris_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
I’m almost impressed they managed to get a picture where both of you have your mouths shut.

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
my manager has informed me that my previous comment about #conan was a joke, so i guess i have a sense of humor now

she’s got moxie _ @killer_qu33n_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier @Stanley_Uris and 5 others_  
Came for the gay rage, stayed for the strangest collection of people in a thread like ever

Stream Calliope Now on Spotify _ @caracaroline2  
_So like i know the new conspiracy theory here on twitter dot com is that that comedy guy is in a cult with Bev Marsh and Bill horror guy, but i’m pretty sure they just grew up together

Anthony _ @ani_areyou_okay_  
_Replying to @caracaroline2_  
seriously the only real mystery is what the fuck is up with maine

Nicky _ @nicky_lodeon_  
_Replying to @caracaroline2_  
Can’t believe this is your tweet that went viral

Stream Calliope Now on Spotify _ @caracaroline2_  
_Replying to @nicky_lodeon_  
I know right, let me drop my soundcloud

Nicky _ @nicky_lodeon_  
_Replying to @caracaroline2_  
Remember me when you’re famous

Dammit Jim _ @jimmyhawkins197_  
_Replying to_ _ @caracaroline2 _  
Tozier even said something about reconnecting with old friends in his newest material. It’s not hard to connect the dots

Lyla ♡ _ lylajean_queen_  
_Replying to @caracaroline2_  
kinda can’t believe he hasn’t found this thread already ive seen it like 6 times

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @lylajean_queen and @caracaroline2_  
don’t worry he has

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier  
_i was gonna say i was surprised no one had figured out that i grew up with _@BillDenbrough,_ _@Beverly_Marsh_, and _@Ben_Hanscom_ but then i remembered what i look like and what they look like and it wasn’t surprising anymore

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
didn’t include the rest of the losers because they aren’t verified, no one knows to be surprised that i know them yet

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier_  
i would have made a joke about being in the same cult but i dont need anymore people talking about the illuminati in my mentions and there was some culty shit going on in derry

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier  
_also follow my better half _ @E_Kaspbrak _ and the unverified losers _ @Hanlon_Mike _ and _ @Stanley_Uris _

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier  
_but honestly _ @BillDenbrough _ can we even call ourselves the losers club when we grew up to be a best selling horror author, a prize winning architect, the top selling designer on the runways, etc.

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier  
_idk if _ @Stanley_Uris _ is famous in his field or not, cause like who knows shit about naturalists

Stan Uris _ @Stanley_Uris_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier  
_I’m a photographer. I’ve been in _ @NatGeo _ and you didn’t write your own material until this year

Mike _ @Hanlon_Mike_  
_Replying to @Stanley_Uris and @RichieTozier_  
Actually in naturalist circles Stan is more famous than you are

Bev Marsh ✔ _ @Beverly_Marsh_  
_Replying to @Hanlon_Mike @Stanley_Uris and and @RichieTozier_  
Oh shit, Mike has entered the chat and he’s out for blood

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @Hanlon_Mike @Stanley_Uris and and @RichieTozier_  
RIP Trashmouth

Ben Hanscom ✔ _ Ben_Hanscom_  
_Replying to @Hanlon_Mike @Stanley_Uris and and @RichieTozier_  
Can we beep beep someone who isn’t Richie?

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier_  
_Replying to @Ben_Hanscom @BillDenbrough and 3 others  
_i can’t believe this is the thing that’s going to break up the losers. where the fuck is _ @E_Kaspbrak _ I need someone for #teamrichie

Stan Uris @Stanley_Uris  
_Replying to @RichieTozier @Ben_Hanscom and 4 others  
_You and Eddie are the only two who still care enough about comics to keep up with all that mcu stuff

Bev Marsh ✔ _ @Beverly_Marsh_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier @Ben_Hanscom and 4 others_  
Bold of you to assume that even Eddie would be on your side

Bill Denbrough ✔ _ @BillDenbrough_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier @Ben_Hanscom and 4 others_  
Surprised Eddie hasn’t already dropped in to call you an asshole

Eddie Kaspbrak _ @E_Kaspbrak_  
_Replying to @RichieTozier @Ben_Hanscom and 4 others_  
Do none of you fuckers work? How am I the only loser with a job that doesn’t give me twelve hours to waste away on twitter

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier ✔ _ @RichieTozier  
_hey _ @BillDenbrough _i don’t think we can call ourselves losers anymore

> Buzzfeed ✔ _@Buzzfeed  
_17 Twitter interactions that make us wish we could be honorary Losers Club members
> 
> bit.ly/5dJklmW

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [tumblr](formosusiniquis.tumblr.com) i guess. also if you're reading this pls be impressed by all the work i did to attempt to make this look like it does in my google doc


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